We couldn't go outside during the dinner reception so we made due with this bouquet of flowers instead. When we finally left the reception, my batteries were dry (much like my mouth because I was DD that night), so I wasn't able to get any more bush pictures.

Too often did I follow close on the heels of happiness, today I saw her face.
(Louis Armstrong – Wonderful World)

I woke up this morning to a blue sky and a gentle wind. As I made my way out of the house, I noticed my car was bird shit-free. Today is going to be a good day; I can feel it in my bones. And why shouldn’t it be, it's a Wednesday and I’ve got a 4 day weekend ahead of me.

Here's a list of my 10 favourite songs to listen to on a day like this.

1) Louis Armstrong - Wonderful World

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

2) U2 - Beautiful Day
3) New Order - True Faith
4) The Cranberries - Dreams
5) The Cure - Friday I'm In Love
6) The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
7) Saint Etienne – I Was Born On Christmas Day
8) Thievery Corporation – Heaven’s Going to Burn Your Eyes
9) Smashing Pumpkins – 1979
10) Paul Van Dyk – For An Angel
...
I attended another wedding this past weekend at the beautiful art gallery of Ontario. I was only able to take one bush picture because we were indoors most of the time but that will be posted shortly.

The wedding itself was the most extravagant and well planned wedding I've ever been to. The reception hall was immaculate. The food was great and the company even better. Congratulations to the happy new bride and groom.

2 weddings down and 2 more to go this year...
...
When I first moved into my cubicle I was ecstatic because I had a skylight just above it. During the winter it was nice to have warm rays of sunshine shining down on me. Most people don’t have a view with their office or cubicle. I was one of the fortunate few. Or so I thought.

Now that summer is here, the sunlight beaming onto my desk turns it into a giant frying pan. It’s almost hot enough to cook an egg on. This occurs between 1:30 pm and 3:00 pm everyday. If I hold off on lunch until then I can usually toast my sandwiches.

On certain days the sunlight radiates down like a ray from God. If I was religious I could pretend to talk to him and really freak out my co-workers.

Me (staring up towards the light)

"God, is that you?"
"What do you mean I should kill my coworkers in your name?"
"Of course I honour and love you but they're such nice people."
"I suppose if you put it that way."
"You want me to use my stapler, isn't that sort of barbaric?"
"No, I don't mean to question the means of your compassion."
"Ok, I will do as you ask my omnipotence."

Yeah, I don't think that would go over too well.

Someday Spectral Tears Will Fall From My Lashes
(New Order - Vicious Streak)

I just read this on a girl named April's blog. She had quoted it from an anonymous source. I'm guessing it will stir the same thing in you that it did in myself as well as April, and maybe we can all share that brief moment of heartache, even if you've never experienced it first hand.

...

I cast my gaze skyward
to verify the sunlight that blinds me
and realize it’s summer again.
Nearly a year since you and I dared each other to be vibrant,
but now my soul joins the multitudes
of patent leather shoes
scuffling through fields of brick and stone.

And I never realized -
that 7 little letters,
in the proper order,
could hurt so much.

Saying goodbye to you
isn’t like saying goodbye to a statue,
rather it seems I met you in a dream --
and now insomnia
while I writhe and twist in an empty bed ...
tucking the lonely sheets under my grasping hands.

I know the paralysis
of an eye caught with beauty,
and I caught myself in an intricate web of smile and frown -
linked through

saliva
copperwire
and sunlight.

More shadows fell than sidelong glances,
so I fell more often into shadows than dances
and found an image locked in celluloid.
I became enthralled in an ephemeral beauty
that disappears in the early morning,

cut off from the iron lung of sleep.
So you leave me,
and I leave you this ...

Someday spectral tears will fall from my lashes
on a day that reminds me of when we met.
But now I am left
with an empty catharsis
and a journal full of letters from the "I suppose" boy -
who preceded his thoughts with an idiosyncratic morality
and left in words concrete

a little of himself,
and a little of me.

In the space of twenty minutes,
preserved in the still life of my phone bill,
the fruits of a year ...
bruised by a minute cilia of time.
This is how the world ends --
not with a bang ... but a whimper.
Signed then stretched across 1000 miles of fiber optic wire,
my receiver bending against the phone
with a final kiss goodnight.

Dog Ends Gunman's Plan For Shooting Rampage
(U2 - It's a Beautiful Day)

A man with five guns and more than 6,000 rounds of ammunition set himself up beside a Beaches water plant yesterday planning to commit mass homicide. But a dog's affection apparently persuaded him not to go through with his plan.

He had loaded his pistols and was readying the rifles, police said. They were in his car's trunk along with the ammunition; he had removed the safeties and trigger locks.

He changed his mind when a dog on a walk in the park would not leave him alone.

"He happens to be a pet lover, and he decided that if there was such a nice dog in the area the people were too nice and he wasn't going to carry out his plan," Det. Ashley said.

At a hastily called news conference, police displayed the haul of weapons and ammunition in neatly arranged rows.

The ammunition, all 6,296 rounds of it, was gathered in tidy boxes of blue, grey and red. The guns included a .22-calibre bolt-action rifle with scope, a .30-calibre hunting rifle with scope and a pump-action 12 gauge shotgun.

The man's automobile, a red two-door Subaru, was also on display. A yellow plastic dog's bowl, a quarter full with food pellets, balanced on the back seat. The upholstery was almost invisible under a mish-mash of food wrappers, packets of medication and assorted papers. In the trunk, a collection of CDs revealed a taste for the music of Mariah Carey, the Doors, Abba and Judas Priest.
...

I mean it's plainly obvious that music was the culprit here. Anyone listening to Mariah Carey's latest works would go crazy too.
...
In other news...

The Americans have had an epiphany...well, a little more than half of them have.

Majority of Americans Now Call Iraq War a Mistake

To think it only took them a little more than a year to figure this out.

Even If There Was a God, We're Fucked
(Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus)

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.
2 Peter 3:8

Being an avid reader of science and of religious materials I have formulated a theory of God and why he doesn't seem to have been present in the world for a long long time.

Scientifically the age of the Earth is guessed to be about 5-6 billion years old. The Bible maintains that the Earth was created in 6 days. Many people have suggested that a "day" to God may be more than the 24 hour period that we humans have designated. So let's say that a day to God is a billion years. This way Christians and science can be in harmony.

Now if you read the Old Testament, you'll see that plenty of people got to speak to God, or at least an incarnation of God. Abraham, Solomon, Job and Moses to name a few. Then Jesus came along and he was God. And as far as I can tell nothing since. Or at least anyone who has claimed to have spoken directly to God since then has generally been burned at the stake or had tanks come and shoot fire into their compound. So Jesus was the last time God has been seen in the world. Since he spoke to people we can also say that is the last time God has spoken to anyone in the world or been seen in the world at all. If you're Mormon you might disagree, but if you're Mormon you're crazy anyway so go away.(To the Mormons--if you think I'm making fun of your religion, I am. Crazy bastards.)

Now, the bible isn't clear as to when exactly the sixth day ended. But what if, and I think this makes a certain amount of sense, the day Jesus died was midnight on the sixth day for God? I mean clearly if Jesus was God he wasn't resting when Jesus was alive. Jesus walked around and preformed miracles, which I hear are very tiresome, and of course crucifixion is no picnic. So after Jesus dies, comes back and leaves again, God thinks, "Well my work there is done, all men are saved, I think I'll have a sandwich and call it a day." So he goes to take his nap.

So we know that was somewhere close to 2000 years ago. The Bible seems to indicate that God is going to rest for the whole day. A day to God is a billion years. So 1,000,000,000 - 2000 = 999,998,000 years until we can expect God to wake up. Until then we're alone. Sucks doesn't it?-- by Dallas Lynn

Randomness
(Oasis – Cast No Shadow)

Randomness is useful shorthand for describing a pattern that's bigger than anything we can hold in our minds. Letting go of randomness is one of the hardest decisions a person can make.

This is probably one of the biggest reasons why humanity created religion and science -- to explain events that would otherwise be considered random. We have a need to explain the unknown; to give purpose to things without purpose. At one point in time or another, everyone has wondered about their place on Earth. What if we were born without purpose? Being and nothingness; existence before essence; to hell with divinity and faith.

Would you feel empty if you found out that you were born without purpose?

You can be born without purpose but that doesn't mean you have to live without one. Life is empty and lonely without the notion of purpose. It helps to guide us in making the right decisions. Without it I don't think you could draw the line between right and wrong; you wouldn’t question the world and how it works; you wouldn't strive for something better.

Let go of your need to explain randomness but never stop searching for your purpose in this world.

Billy Idol - White Wedding

Attended a friend's wedding on Saturday night. Here are some photos...

The happy couple and the gang


another happy couple before/after drinks



...my take on bush parties...

Tripping out... 

Ayla - Angel Falls

Why is it that after every gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, heart-stomping break up, we suddenly figure out why the relationship went wrong?

-- Because in a relationship we never admit we're wrong as long as we're still making the mistake.

Why is it that when you finally find a new gf/bf after making a promise to yourself that you'll never fall in love again -- you fall in love again.

-- Because humans have a love/hate relationship with love. We hate love when it fucks us over and we love it when it works.

Why am I still up asking and answering my own questions?
-- Because I am a blog monkey. Goodnight!

Paul Van Dyk - For An Angel

Typing with one finger right now as I'm munching on these wings. It's been quite a hectic week in Minneapolis, MN. I've been here on business all week and I haven't had too much free time. So making use of my free time by blogging. It makes perfect sense.

I am super geek, you shall bow before me.
...
It's hard to type with one hand and wing sauce dripping from the corner of your mouth. It's also hard to write with a tv 2 feet away from your right ear, 2 chat windows open, a window open for online shopping and one more for checking email. Some say multi-tasker and some say attention deficit disorder. I say a little of both and a small morsel of schizophrenia.
...
I've had a myriad of things running through my head today. I wish I was better at mental sprints. I'd definitely catch up to all these thoughts and emotions.
...
Today is my mom's 52nd birthday and she doesn't look a day older than 38. Happy bday mom. Thanks for everything!
...
There's another person who has a birthday today that I haven't said happy bday to. I promised myself that I wouldn't and I like to keep my promises. I'm sure she understands. I am after all, unruly.
...
Have you ever randomly put spaces in a string of text just to make stupid/vulgar words/sentences?...it's fun.

I am good at multi-tasking!
I am good at mul tit asking!
I am go oda tmul tit as king!

Ok...maybe I'm just bored.
...
I have 3 gmail invites for sale. Will sell for money, wings and sexual favours. Inquire within.
...
4 years ago I graduated with my BSc in Biochemistry and was offered a position as a potato genetics researcher at some university in Newfoundland. It would have paved a road for me to do my PHD but I declined. Part of me regrets that decision. I mean girls dig educated men. I mean a PHD in potato genetics -- could I get any hotter? Now I'm just an IT geek. Girls aren't too impressed when you talk to them about databases and programming.

All kidding aside though, I'd much rather be working with computers than figuring out how to manipulate spud genes.
...
Time for bed. Goodnight night Wanda. Goodnight all.

                                                      Wasabi-Man


Make like you're a lion...hunting in tall grass...

Frou Frou – Holding Out For a Hero

There's nothing I hate more than misguided naïve girls who like to judge others because they can’t see beyond their own little utopia.
...
If I'm intolerant of people who are intolerant, does that make me a hypocrite or just holier than thou?
...
My days of being with the wrong girls, for the wrong reasons, under false pretenses, solely for the sake of sleeping with them are so far behind me.

My days of being with the right girls, for the right reasons, without the pretenses, solely for the sake of sleeping with them are well on their way!
...
When I was about 8 years old, like other boys my age, I wanted to be a ninja. Unlike other 8 year old boys though, I wasn't satisfied with plastic imitations of ninja weapons and decided to make my own real weapons. With my dad's tool shed at my disposal I made a pair of numchucks out of wood and some chains, brass knuckles with 2 inch nails on the end and a miniature sickle.

My first attempt at being a real ninja got me called to the principal's office for chasing around the other kids with my brass knuckles. Mom and dad were not amused.

My second attempt at being a real ninja led me on a journey to the park. There I found a cabbage patch doll belonging to one of the neighbours' kids. I proceeded to interrogate the cabbage patch doll with my numchucks. It was unfortunate that it chose not to talk because I then had to resort to extreme measures. I used my sickle to dismember its limbs. After that I buried it in the sand.

The grave I dug turned out to be too shallow. Ninjas are experts in killing people not burying corpses. The neighbour and his kid came to our house with the dismembered limbs in hand to ask if we saw anyone do this. Ninjas are however, experts in lying because I told them I saw some other kids at the playground earlier in the day playing with her doll.

I had a hard time sleeping after this incident so I hung up my numchucks and retired.

I came back out of retirement when I was in grade 9. I made professional blow darts that had a range of about 30 – 50 feet. Each dart was sharp enough to stick firmly into a wooden board. I sold these to the other kids in my tech class. After nearly taking out a kid's eye from across the room I retired for good.

I miss my ninja days.

Sundays - Here's Where The Story Ends

When you get to my age the girls are all biological clock-driven. The thought of marriage is no longer just a childhood fantasy but something that is realistically within their grasp. And as more and more of their girlfriends start saying "I do", the more it starts becoming a race against each other. It's like a swim meet and they're all on the starting boards; everyone is watching; and they’re all trying to beat each other to the shallow end.

The guys on the other hand don't care much for swimming, the only swimming that sounds remotely interesting to them is the breast stroke. If you look closely in the shallow end you'll see the men hiding along the side of the wall and trying to hold their breaths as long as they can. Their friends are getting married, and they’re thinking to themselves, "thank god it's not me", and they start wondering how much longer they can hold out. Meanwhile as the girls are frantically flapping their arms in the water, it's only a matter of time before they get to the boys at the shallow end and try to squeeze out any last bits of air they have left in their lungs. Sadly enough this is what marriage is all about.

Saint Etienne - Hobart Paving

Eggspectation is the yummiest and most fantabulous place to have breakfast...this I know...there you should go. My breakfast of choice was the Eggsuberent. 2 eggs, 3 sausages, potatoes, fresh fruit, pancakes and toast. All for $7.99. How can you go wrong?
...
While in Montreal I got some new jogging pants, a retro Iverson jersey and some new converse shoes. It was a thug-like shoppping spree for me. Now I just need some ice and some bling-bling and maybe I can be in a rap video. (Puffy...call me.)
...
One of the managers in my office inadvertently showed me some cleavage today. While I was at her place helping her install some software for her laptop, she showed me pictures of her about 10-15 years ago. Apparently her and her friends were the real pioneers of Girls Gone Wild at Mardi Gras. Too bad I didn't have any beads to throw at her...or a scanner so I could post those pictures up on our company website.
...
My dog snores. I'll be doing the same in about 10 minutes. Goodnight.

Eddie Murphy - Party All The Time

Viva Montreal


No smoking! Drinking however, is encouraged. 

Then do some vandalizing...but in a classy way. 

Then take stupid photos of yourself... 

...and your friends... 

Don't walk towards the light. 

Rick James - Superfreak

Had a discussion with a coworker today about guys expectations of women when it comes to sex and how completely unreasonable they are. I totally disagreed with her. What’s so unreasonable about finding a gymnast virgin, who’s great in bed, gets her thing Brazilian waxed and loves to swallow?
...
Speaking of Brazil...there’s a country I want to visit! If anyone knows how to party it’s the Brazilians. If you’ve ever watched international sporting events, it’s always the Brazilians who are painted from head to toe, banging on loud drums, singing and the hot women are stripping in the stands. Ok, I might have just made up the stripping part but that doesn’t deny the fact that these people love to party! Even in tennis where the crowds are tame and subdued (like me after a buffet dinner), these people are just causing a ruckus. I can’t wait til the day that Brazil starts watching golf.
...
Thank God it’s Thursday!! In celebration of this wonderful Thursday I am going to drive to Montreal, do some fishing, go drinking at a bar in the company of 25 other guys, head to the strip club and watch women dance and rub up against a brass pole, make lewd comments about their body (meanwhile condemning the objectification of women), buy a couple of lap dances for one good friend, then heading to a club to dance the night away.

Ok, you found me out. I’m headed to Montreal this weekend for a bachelor party. Can’t put anything past you guys!

I got beat bad. Damn you ZIT and JAW!! 

Storms a brewing. 

If you’re in denial to the point that you’ve convinced yourself that you’re completely happy -- should it matter if you’re in denial or not?

Should you intervene in someone else's life because your personal perception is that they aren't happy even though they say otherwise?

The Vines – Get Free

The problem with large groups of friends (remnants from university) is that sooner or later there’s always going to be conflicts within the group. If you can imagine a large circle of friends (or in some cases acquaintances); the ones towards the center are the most closely knit friends that are less likely to have conflicts; the people on the outer fringes of the circle are the ones most likely to annoy each other. The edges are so distant from each other there really is no bond between them. The only common grounds they have are the friends in between them that do get along.

So what is the key to avoiding these conflicts? -- avoiding the large group of friends.

As we get older I think we constantly re-evaluate our friends and the people on the outer edges of our circles slowly get bumped out. It’s no longer a popularity contest. Knowing who our real friends are is a process of maturity.
...
I’m a pack rat. My room is littered with tons of things I really should throw out. My wallet is a Costanza wallet with so many receipts and cards it gives me back aches. My hotmail account is always on the verge of being suspended because of my inbox reaching its maximum capacity. It’s for this last reason that I am now phasing out my hotmail email address. Not to mention the tons of junkmail I get about increasing the size of my penis (How do they know? It’s like they’re psychic!). I can’t stand it anymore and I have now signed on with G-mail (Google’s mail). One gig of inbox space and 99% less junkmail! Bye-bye Microsoft. Hello Google.

You can now contact me at khiemle@gmail.com.